


Setbacks

by Jeminy3



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Coercion, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Underage Drinking, canon-divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 10:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13716216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeminy3/pseuds/Jeminy3
Summary: Summary: Ed and friends are delayed from leaving Rush Valley for a day. Ling takes the opportunity to make a strange arrangement, and Ed finds himself roped into it somehow. Things get kinda gay.... but more awkward than anything else, really.Features: swearing, groaning, underage alcohol consumption, coercion, dubcon (but it's for chaste kissing that never actually happens), some deep thinking about feelings and orientation that goes unsolved and ignored, because Edward is Edward.Finally... Here's a fic that was originally part of a very long, convoluted edling fic series I've been slowly working and re-working for about 2 years now. This was originally a flashback that an adult Ed had while visiting Emperor Ling's palace, but it got really long and more of its own thing. the drinking section was my first piece of writing that tried to really nail their dynamic when they first met.Read on Tumblr: http://jeminy3.tumblr.com/post/170988414423/setbacksRead on Google Docs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NA7Rx-GUJpiwU8m_YwHNKTwIjUbRefY-a8z3D2gBdz4/edit?usp=sharing





	Setbacks

**Author's Note:**

> this is one of a few fics i have that are slightly canon-divergent like this for the sake of shipping, and probably won't be directly related, but could be interpreted that way.
> 
> no drawings for this one, I am… just not feeling it this time, sorry lol

 

" _Delayed???"_ But it's urgent!"

"So is the need for safety. The repairmen are working as fast as they can, I assure you. But even if they finish within the day, we need the extra time to make sure it's safe. I'm sorry. The train will be up and running at first light tomorrow morning, I promise."

Ed groans dramatically, letting his head fall back. Fucking great. A broken train engine was just what they fucking needed right now, when they needed to get back to Central as soon as possible.

He lets his head fall forwards again as he lets out a long sigh, then stares at the toes of his boots, searching them for ideas. He gets one.

In one swift motion, he tugs on the chain at his belt, pops his engraved pocketwatch out of his pants and into his open hand, flashing it at the train conductor in front of him.

"Edward Elric, State Alchemist. Lemme at the problem and I can fix it in seconds."

He also flashes a glare up at Alphonse, which silences whatever protest he was about to make, as telegraphed by the sound of his armor shifting at Ed's side.

The middle-aged conductor's eyes go wide. "State Alchemist? Oh-

Then something crosses his countenance, and his brows furrow. "-Wait. I've heard of an Alchemist in town."

 _Yes_. Ed can almost feel himself sparkling. "-You've heard of me? I mean, of course, I'm known through the whole country, I'm The Fullmeta-

The man cuts in suddenly. "-I _heard_ that he tore up most of the market strip near downtown earlier today, part of some crazy battle with some kind of ninja warrior. Even leveled a building or two. The locals are furious."

A long, tired sigh from Alphonse doesn't go unheard.

Ed's jaw's gone slack. He... didn't expect this idea to backfire.

He struggles to get it working again. "I- Uh- Y-yes, that was- I mean, it was an accident! All of it! The ninja- I mean, the guy who _hired_ that ninja's responsible! If that idiot-prince hadn't-"

He's interrupted as the man extends an arm to place his open palm directly in front of Ed's face. "I don't have time for a story, kid. The point is, we're taking care of the problem already, and I doubt you'd be much help. Do you even _know_ anything about how trains work?"

Ed stammers his protests again, still in disbelief that this wasn't working. "I- No- I mean, no I don't, but I can-"

Too late. The man's already crossing his arms in front of his chest and shaking his head. "Didn't think so. Leave this to us. You've done enough."

"-Um. I'm an automail mechanic, if that helps?" The light, airy voice of Winry suddenly chirps up at Ed's other side. He looks over to see her gingerly raising her hand like she's in a fucking school or something.

The man's expression lightens significantly as he addresses her. "That's kind of you Miss, but I'm afraid train mechanics and automail mechanics are two entirely different beasts. You wouldn't be much help either, but I appreciate it."

Winry withdraws her hand to lightly touch her chin, looking dejected. "Oh. Well, okay..."

God, she was too fucking nice for her own good sometimes.

The disapproving, scowling expression returns as the man faces Ed again. "There's an inn down the street you can stay at 'till morning," he says, jabbing a thumb in its direction. "Unless you plan on wrecking more of the town, I'd recommend staying there."

Ed's already turning away and started walking, clearly defeated. "Yeah yeah, thanks. See ya later, or something..."

Then when he's a few paces away, he adds "...fuckin' asshole," under his breath.

"Don't be mean, Ed, he's just doing his job," Winry scolds as she keeps pace with him.

"-And you did cause a pretty big mess earlier. I don't blame him for being distrustful," Alphonse adds, clunking along behind him.

Ed just groans again, caught between an armored rock and hard-headed place who were both right about this, he just didn't want to admit it because he was still _very fucking pissed_ at the person who _really_ started this whole stupid mess, as far as he was concerned.

-And here's the shithead now, he thinks to himself, as Ling comes into view in front of him, sitting on a bench but with his legs crossed like he's still on the ground (fucking why). He's smiling merrily as they approach, the way he apparently always does, as if he's an innocent shit-eating lamb or something.

"So what happened?" he asks.

Ed barely spares him a glance as he walks right by him, curtly saying, "Train's broken. Staying at the inn. Leaving in the morning. Fuck you."

And he's a good several paces down the street as the sounds of Ling's confusion and Al and Winry's collective sighing carry down to him.

* * *

 

Ed would've loved to just sit and stew in his room until nightfall, but as usual Winry and Alphonse had to be all sensible and shit and suggest that they at least stock up on extra supplies while they're stuck here. And of fucking course, Ling agreed to it.

So here he was. Edward Elric, renowned State Alchemist, dragged down to a local market to help carry fucking groceries. As if this day could get any worse.

At least it was a smaller, farm-based market in a different part of Rush Valley, so not _every_ townsperson who recognized him was throwing scowls at him because of the fighting earlier that day. And that _barely_ counted as a plus.

Winry was off buying something girly like extra lugnuts or something, while Alphonse was nearby picking up extra food and supplies in preparation for whatever craziness awaited them after they landed back in Central. Ling...

Actually, he didn't know _where_ the fuck Ling was. And he didn't care. He could fuck off for all he-

"Hey! Hey, Alchemist! Look what I've found!"

Speak of the devil. Ed groans, for the third time now, as he turns in the direction of Ling's stupid voice.

Past the thinning crowd in front of him, Ed sees Ling standing in front of a stall selling various wines and spirits, both arms raised above him, his hands clutching two square-ish bottles filled with a clear, light-orange fluid. Their labels are red and gold and peppered with lettering, both in Amestrian and a foreign, symbol-based language that Ed guesses must be Xingese.

Despite himself, Ed decides to approach him and ask, "What're those?"

"Rice wine! Doesn't look as good as the stuff back home, but I think it'll suffice," Ling says, with that stupid grin he seems to make when he's excited about something equally stupid. God, he wished he could punch him. Just knock his stupid teeth right out of his stupid smiling face. Unfortunately he couldn't, not with his hands full with their group's bags, much less within sight of Ling's bodyguards who were always watching from... somewhere. That was _really_ unnerving...

Meanwhile, Ed says nothing in response to Ling's statement besides an uninterested grunt.

He wants to say something like, ' _What's so fucking great about Xingese wine? It's all the same, just alcohol and shit_ ,' but keeps his mouth shut, for once - a rare occurrence. He wasn't sure if he was suddenly getting wiser about his temper, or was just exhausted from dealing with Ling for the past several hours. Probably the latter.

No, definitely the latter, he concludes, as Ling proceeds to stuff the bottles of wine between the bags of groceries Ed's holding before running off into the crowd, leaving him with bottle-tops pushing into his face and chin as he awkwardly maneuvers himself to actually pay the stall owner for the drinks. The woman gives him a look that clearly says _Sorry you're with dealing with this_ as she waves him goodbye, and Ed says "Thanks" to her as sincerely as he can for it.

Then he's back to following Ling and the others around the market with his cargo like a fucking pack mule, still quietly fuming.

God, Ling was such an asshole. He said he was a prince, right? Wasn't he rich or something? 'Cause he seemed like just an annoying freeloader more than anything else, expecting Ed to pay for everything, even his fucking meals.

Ed tries to keep his mind preoccupied as he goes through the motions to pay for the rest of their group's purchases and follow them back to the Inn on his already-aching legs. Mainly, by thinking about how he could find a good excuse to punch Ling in the face after they settled down tonight. Because boy, if he could, that'd _definitely_ be something to look forward to.

He imagines, in detail, his clenched automail fist hiking back, shooting out, connecting with Ling's smooth, princely cheek. Distorting it as it kept surging forward, warping and displacing the flesh of his face, his jaw skewing to the point of breakage, his nice white teeth flying loose from his gums in a spray of blood and saliva. Ahh. So satisfying.

But at one point Ed gets so lost in thought about this that he's started staring at Ling's _actual_ face, who was walking at his side and slightly ahead of him. And now he's... staring right back at him.

Well he was, until he looked ahead of him- No, he's glancing back at Ed again and- oh, _ugh_. Not only is Ling smiling at him in that stupid smiley way he always does, but now he's _winking_ at him too. _GOD_.

That's more than enough to snap Ed out of his daydreaming in time to very quickly look down at his feet and focus completely on walking on the dirt roads and not on his burning ears. He hears Ling snickering softly, and starts thinking about somehow getting the ground beneath him to open up and swallow him whole.

As if he couldn't hate Ling any more than before. He was _definitely_ getting back at him tonight. The only question was, _how_...?

* * *

 

Once he'd found him and Al's room for the night and set down their supplies, Ed almost had a mind to just flop into bed and try to forget about Ling and everything altogether until the next morning - but alas, fate had decided otherwise.

Because before he'd even finished setting down his things, he was unpleasantly surprised by the sound of Ling's voice coming from the room's doorway.

"Hey, Alchemist!"

His cheery voice aimed at Ed's backside makes him bristle like a porcupine, and Ed almost wishes he could shoot quills out of his ass like one too. He doesn't even turn to face him.

"I have a _name_ , asshole," Ed mutters over his shoulder as he sets down his last bag.

Ling ignores that, as usual. "I have a proposition for you, before you settle in for the night."

Ed decides to turn and face him, bringing the full force of his scowl at him. "The hell do you want? I'm tired."

Ling was sporting another of his stupid grins, and- oh, for _fuck's_ sake- he had those wine bottles again too.

"How about a chat and a few drinks? Just me and you, in my room."

Um. Seriously? A 'chat' with some drinks? That... was the biggest waste of time he's heard yet. Not to mention shady as _fuck_ , coming from this guy.

"No," Ed says tersely.

Ling's smile doesn't falter. "Aw c'mon! Just to talk and loosen up a bit before bed-"

"No."

"We can get to know each other better-"

" _No_."

"I assure you, I haven't poisoned the-"

" _NO_."

Ling's smile had finally crumbled into a confused frown. "...Are you _always_ this unpleasant?"

Ed breathes a long sigh through his nose, as if trying to get steam to come out. "Yes, now can you _please_ fuck off so I can go to slee-"

"Hey brother, what's going on?"

Suddenly they're interrupted by Alphonse's large frame clunking into view behind Ling. Ling turns to him, only mildly surprised, then moves aside to let him into the room.

Al bows lightly at him before stepping inside. "Hello, Ling. Thank you."

Once he's inside, he turns to Ed. "Winry's good for tonight. So, what are you yelling at Ling about?"

Ed groans, now the fourth time. "I'm not _yelling_ at him Al, I'm just-" He stops himself, pinches the bridge of his nose with one hand to gather his thoughts. "Ugh. Ling's just being annoying and won't let me go to fucking bed."

Ling feigns a look of hurt. "I am not! I was just extending a friendly invitation for drinks and a chat, that's all!"

Ed musters up a venomous glare at him in response. As usual, it doesn't faze him.

Al looks between the two of them for a moment, noticing the wine bottles in Ling's hands. "Oh, is that all? That sounds nice! Why don't you take him up on it, brother? It's not _that_ late, y'know - you don't fall asleep 'till later anyway."

Ed, disbelieving of what he's hearing from his younger brother right now, reaches whine-levels of complaining now. "But Al, I don't _want_ to-"

But as soon as he starts, Al suddenly leans down by his ear, dropping his voice to a murmur.

"Just play along, ok? See if you can get him to tell us more about Alkehestry."

Ed blinks at him. "But-"

"Just do it, okay? Okay."

Alphonse is... very assertive tonight for some reason.

He turns back to Ling before letting Ed voice any further complaints. "I think Ed's actually pretty open to your idea, Ling. He just needs a bit more _encouragement_." He accentuates the word with a heavier-than-needed pat on Ed's shoulder with one of his gauntlets.

"Oh- really?" Ling says, looking far too much like a happy little dog finally getting a treat.

"I know my brother can be... well, abrasive, but I think deep down he wants to give it a chance! Don't you, _brother_?"

Al hasn't relinquished his grip on Ed's shoulder, and presses ever so slightly harder on it as he turns to look at him again, and Ed _swears_ he can see him winking somehow.

"Just as long as you don't overdo it with the wine, of course. You guys need to be sober for our trip tomorrow morning."

Ling nods with annoying enthusiasm. "Oh, of course! I wouldn't dream of inebriating your brother, especially not for something important like that-"

By now, their conversation had faded into background noise as Ed becomes lost in the dawning realization of Holy Fucking Shit I Cannot Believe This is Happening, I Cannot Fucking Believe  That My Little Brother, Of ALL People, is Forcing Me to Hang Out and Drink With the Most Annoying Fucking Person in the Entire Goddamn World-

-Wait.

All these mentions of drinking and inebriation suddenly makes something click in Ed's mind. If Ling was trying to get him drunk - and he hadn't believed his words for a solitary second because that was _totally_ what this whole thing was about - maybe he could, instead, get _Ling_ drunk. Drunk enough to do something regrettable, even. Not hugely regrettable, but at least _something_ that could serve as payback for earlier. Maybe... Juuust maybe...

Yeah... yeah, he could do that... Heheheh... Ed feels like grinning wickedly at all the potential outcomes that could come of this (the ones that involved embarrassing Ling, that is), and that seals his decision.

He interrupts Al and Ling's banter with the loudest, most dejected groan he can muster. "Uggghhh, _FINE_ ," he says, spreading his arms and putting on his best ' _I don't care, just leave me alone already_ ' voice to sell it. "If it'll get you two to _shut up_ until tomorrow, I'll do it."

And it works - Ling breaks out into his stupidest, smiliest smile yet, and Alphonse nods at him energetically.

"Oh, wonderful! I'll go get set up," Ling says, then darts out of view.

Al gives a little chuckle at his enthusiasm. "There he goes... Just remember, brother-

Ed waves a hand dismissively as he trudges out of the room. "Yeah yeah, ask him about the shit, don't overdo it. Whatever. Just one thing-"

He turns to give Al one of his trademark glares, pointing an accusing finger.

"You _owe_ me for this. Big time."

* * *

 

Minutes later and here they were, sitting on the floor of Lings' room, with the bottles of rice wine and a pair of shot glasses from... somewhere. Ling probably "borrowed" them from the inn's bar.

They make small talk as they take their shots, Ed acclimating to the taste of the drink. It's... just okay. Not great. Pretty bland overall, but the sting of the alcohol is still there. He tries to not go too hard on it, but still drinks enough to keep pace with Ling, as to not arouse any suspicion from him.

After explaining Amestris' general politics to Ling in the briefest, most watered-down way possible (because Ed didn't particularly care too much for it), Ling suddenly asks, "By the way - what is your heritage, exactly?

Ed squints at him. "My what?" He didn't mishear him, he was just- what? What did _that_ have to do with anything?

"I mean, what are you descended from, exactly? Who are your parents?" Ling says.

Ah... Ed pushes away a memory before it can hurt him.

"None of your business," he says flatly.

"Oh, alright. I was just curious, because you don't really look like the average Amestrian from what I've seen."

It's a strange statement, but not _that_ strange. Ed feels like someone's told him the same thing once or twice before. Still, he asks, "Whaddya mean?"

"Well, it's your hair. And your eyes, too. They're this gold color I've never seen before... It's rather pretty. Beautiful, actually."

Ed was halfway toward blowing him off and saying 'whatever' until that last sentence - that makes him stop his mouth halfway through opening, widen his eyes, feel a distinct surge of heat begin to grow in his cheeks.

Did he- did he actually just say that? Unironically? _Beautiful...?_

Ed's received weird looks and comments on the color of his eyes and hair before, but they were usually in passing. Casual stuff, like 'oh, that's a cool color.' And that was it. He never really thought much of them - didn't really care, he told himself, though truthfully he just didn't like being reminded of who he inherited them from.

But being called 'beautiful' for them? That was... new. Very new. And he has no idea how to respond to it. But he _does_ know how to be annoyed, so he just does that instead.

"Are- are you already drunk or something?" Ed says, frowning and narrowing his eyes.

Irritatingly, Ling just chuckles at him in response. "Really, by all accounts you're fairly attractive - except maybe for all the scowling and yelling and hitting people but hey, no one's perfect! Haha. You can always work on that, anger management and all."

Ed just sort of boggles at him, because he'd gone back and forth between complimenting and insulting him so quickly that he can't decide _what_ to feel now. But he's most familiar with anger, so he sticks with that.

He puts on his best scowl. "Shut up. I don't need any stupid... m-management," he growls, and pours himself another shot of his wine, grumbling. His whole face is burning by now, and he hates how flushed he must look.

Ling just smiles at him. Idiot.

He pauses to watch Ed take another drink before he starts speaking again.

"...Say, speaking of attractive, do you have someone waiting for you back home? Like a girlfriend? Or ah- a boyfriend, if you're into that sort of thing?"

Ed was about to tell him that was none of his business again but the 'boyfriend' part surprises him so much that he chokes on the shot he's swallowing and starts coughing violently.

A _boyfriend_? What the _fuck?_

Between the the sheer lunacy of the question and the burning fluid in his larynx, Ed can't even begin to respond to that. Who fucking asks that, even? This weirdo, apparently.

And now Ling's started laughing awkwardly, as if he's... nervous? Or something?

"Hey it's okay, I won't judge you either way, I'm just wondering. I mean, I know it's not very, uh- popular, but I don't know if it's different here in Ames-"

" _No_! I don't give a damn about any of that stuff so can you shut up already!?" Ed blurts out, having finally cleared his throat, enough to speak.

"Oh." Ling looks oddly disappointed. "You don't care about dating? Or you don't have anyone, so-"

"I SAID _SHUT UP_!" Ed yells, raising a fist, threatening to hit him with it.

An image of Winry had flashed across his mind's eye for some reason just now, but he pushes it aside. She was only a childhood friend, but this bastard implying that Ed had no one close to him still boiled his blood. Fuckin' asshole.

Ling waves his hands at him in a shushing motion. "Keep it down, some people are sleeping alrea-"

"I don't care about that either! Can we just _drop this_ already!?" Ed cuts him off, snarling through gritted teeth, using quite a bit of effort to not raise his voice again.

Ling spreads his hands disarmingly. "Fine, fine."

Silence falls. An odd tension has started filling the room by now, and Ed already can't stand it.

He can't believe this. So far, _he_ was the only one being made a fool here, and worst of all, Ling doesn't seem to be getting very drunk at all! He's had several more shots than Ed so far, but he was barely showing anything. Meanwhile, on top of feeling deeply flushed, Ed was already feeling an odd haze in his mind and a strange warmth in the bottom of his gut, and when he wasn't paying attention he'd sway in his seat a little. Apparently he's a lightweight, which was just fucking great.

He tries, and fails, not to stew in it too much as they drink two more shots each. Then Ling starts talking again.

" Hey. You uh, didn't really answer my question."

"Hm." Ed doesn't feel like responding with more than a grunt.

"Y'know, about who you like?"

God, he was so fucking nosy.

"I told you, I don't care. Stop ashking." Ed says, slurring a bit. Shit. The alcohol really _was_ getting to him.

"Hmm." Ling regards him with this look that... Ed can't really identify. Is he studying him, or what? This is... getting way too uncomfortable.

Then Ling shrugs. "Well, okay. If you don't care either way, then you won't mind this."

He scoots closer to Ed's side, props his elbow on his knee and rests his chin on his fist. He smirks, gazing at Ed with a glint of mischief in his eyes that makes him... very nervous.

"Here's a proposition for you: It's late. We're alone. We're drunk. We could do whatever we wanted right now and no one would have to know."

Ed just blinks at him. Is... is this guy even real? Is this even happening? 'Whatever we wanted'...? Oh- oh no-

"Oh don't worry, I don't mean anything serious," Ling says, his expression relaxing and some of that mischief fading from his eyes. Ed lets out a breath he doesn't remember holding.

"I just mean something small, like say..." He lifts his other hand, holding up his index finger. "One kiss."

Ed has to stop himself from choking again, because that would've just been pathetic since he's not even drinking anything right now. A... a _kiss_? Was he- was he serious?!

"Are-are you _crazy_?! Wh-What kind of proposition is _that_?!" Ed blurts out, his voice rising to near-shouting levels again.

Ling frowns at him. "Hey, quiet, remember?"

Then his eyes dart away for a moment, thoughtful. "And it's... an experiment. Just a one-time thing. We won't tell anyone. Not your brother, not even Lan Fan or Fuu. It can be our secret."

Ed sputters, his face burning hotter than ever now."I- Wh- !?"

An experiment? Behind his brother's back? What the hell was going on?! Who the hell did stuff like this?! This idiot-prince did, apparently. Was this another one of those weird-ass customs Xingese people did? He wouldn't be surprised if it was.

Well Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, would have no part in this, thank you very much. This was _beyond_ simple stupidity. This was idiotic. Foolish. Pointless. Fucking dumb. All of it, all this shit with the wine and the secrecy. And over a kiss? Even worse. Kissing was pretty sappy, but here they were, treating it like it was as bad as-

Wait. Had he actually said anything yet? Shit-

Ed realizes, too late, that he'd blanked out and let his mind wander into colorful protests without actually voicing them. He was still sitting there, tense and bristling, his face still flushed and his mouth still hanging open stupidly. His eyes had relaxed and started wandering into strange places, gazing at Ling's dark eyes, following the slant of his eyelids into the lines of his cheekbones, going down to his thin lips and round chin.

They'd started drifting down to the sliver of Ling's bare chest through his open coat before Ed caught them and refocused them on Ling's face in general, which was starting to tense into an annoyed expression.

By the time Ed composes himself, Ling had started speaking again. "So, will you-"

" _NO_! Why the hell would I kissh you, you idiot-prince?!" Ed found himself blurting out.

In another part of his mind, Ed wonders why the words came out like that, because he was _pretty_ sure he was gonna say something a bit different from _that_... but he'd worry about it later. As in never.

Lings eyes widen in shock for a moment - then crinkle up, nearly closing completely as he starts snorting softly, his face twisting up in an especially stupid way as he attempts to suppress his laughter.

He has to take a breath to compose himself. "I didn't say _you_ had to kiss _me_ , but if you want to-"

" _NO!_ " The protest shoots out of Ed's mouth so quickly it's like it has a mind of its own, and Ed's grateful that his mouth is just as opposed to this idea as he was.

Ling just starts snorting harder, breaking down into barely contained laughter. He has to turn away to compose himself again, half hiding his face with one hand as he takes another few breaths.

"Man... you're so funny," he says wistfully after he calms down.

He turns back to Ed, still smiling stupidly, but now he was giving him this incredulous look, as if Ed was being the ridiculous one here. Which was completely wrong, of course.

"It's just _one_ kiss," Ling says. "It doesn't even have to be on the mouth! Just a little one, on the cheek, if you want." He pokes his index finger into his cheek to illustrate, squishing his face in a way that looked so ridiculous it was kind of... cute, or something.

But Ed doesn't have time to think about that, because he was starting to choke again from the... just the sheer _gall_ of all this, of this stupid, embarrassing, idiot prince.

And he thought he was _funny_? Asshole. Let's see him keep laughing with half his face swollen and bruised from one of Ed's "kisses". From his fist. In his face.

...Bad analogy, but whatever.

The brief thought of violence helps Ed focus, and he finally composes himself enough to properly glare at Ling and say, low and threatening, " _Never in a million years, shithead._ "

Ling just shrugs at him. "Alright."

Ed could've been holding his arm-blade to his throat right now (part of him wishes he was) and Ling would be just as unphased. Fucking bastard.

Still, he takes Ling's nonchalance as a sign of defeat, and Ed tries, unsuccessfully, to breathe a sigh of relief and relax again. Unsuccessful because within the next moment, Ling gets his attention again with a soft chuckle.

When Ed looks at Ling again, he's giving him the most withering, cunning smile yet.

He says, almost like a purr, "I'll kiss _you_ then."

And that breaks him. Ling kissing him. Ling _kissing_ him.

He can't even... he can't even think straight. This can't be happening. This has to be a dream. He'd already gone to bed instead of taking up Ling's stupid offer and he was just dreaming all this, right?

Wait- why would he be dreaming about _this_? Getting wasted and being dared into kissing Ling? No, this wasn't a dream. This was a goddamn nightmare, and he wants to wake up now. But the pounding in his chest and the heat in his face feels real, terrifyingly real.

His mouth isn't working. He's just staring at Ling, flushed and wide eyed, sputtering like an idiot. "I- wh- I- I-"

He can't focus. His mind was flying apart in a hundred different directions and he can't get any of the pieces to focus on getting his mouth and throat working enough to tell Ling 'Please don't fucking kiss me'. Or just 'no'. why would he say 'please'? Goddammit, his stupid, drunken brain....

And then Ling was _still_ looking at him with that horrible, awful look - that glint in his half-lidded eyes, that curve in his lips, and now that Ed knew what he intended to do with those lips, a hundred images were flashing through his mind with a heat and intensity he'd never felt before, and he can't make sense out of any of it.

Ling kissing him... Ling _kissing_ him... He just...

He can't. He can't do this. He just can't.

Ed realizes that he's still staring at Ling's face, and vaguely realizes that this might be part of his focusing problem right now. He forces his eyes down toward the floor - Yeah, that helps.

Calm down. He needs to calm down. What does he usually do for this- oh, yeah. Breathing. Elements.

Ed starts taking deep, even breaths, slowly reciting his list of elements that made up the human body in his head.

 _Inhale_. Water, thirty-five liters. Carbon, twenty kilograms. Ammonia, four liters.

 _Exhale_. Lime, one-point-five kilograms. Phosphorous, eight-hundred grams. Salt, two-hundred-fifty grams.

 _Inhale_ -

"...Are you alright?" he hears Ling say. Fucking hell. If he'd just give him a goddamn second-

Ed looks back up to meet Ling's eyes and tell him off, but stops.

Ling's expression had shifted dramatically within whatever timespan Ed had spent freaking out. He wasn't smiling anymore - it was almost a frown now. His eyebrows were knit together, and his eyes had softened, filled with something like pity.

Despite himself, Ed's caught off-guard - he wasn't expecting Ling to look at him like this, with all this... concern. Did he- was he worried about him? Genuinely? That's... weird. He's never seen Ling like this before...

Then Ed realizes he still needs to say something, and clearly. He takes another breath, and forces his mouth to speak.

"I- uh- y- yeah." Still pretty rough, but not bad.

Ling's soft expression fades back into mischief. "Good. Now, are you ready?"

Dammit. He should've known. Too good to be true. Ling still wants to give him that stupid kiss. And Ed still has to say something so he wouldn't do that, but he's still full of a million different thoughts and feelings, and he's losing focus again.

In the meantime, Ling's just staring at him, his expression unreadable. Then he straightens, taking his hand from under his chin and slowly extending it toward him, leaning forward.

Ed freezes in place, holding his breath.

He watches Ling's hand extend toward his face in slow-motion, his sense of time warping as all he became aware of was Ling, Ling's hand, and his own loud, rapid heartbeat. He realizes that Ling was probably aiming to cup his left cheek, brush aside his bangs there, then lean in and giving him the offered kiss - and just the thought of that scenario, imagining it, was sending so many contradictory thoughts and feelings through Ed's system that he couldn't even hope to process it all, and definitely not within the milliseconds before the hand reached him and made said scenario a reality.

His mind split apart again, even further. He's practically screaming at himself internally to _do_ something at this point, but it's all so overwhelming...

He keeps watching the hand come closer and closer, the situation becoming ever more critical. Confusion began to give way to sheer panic as it closes in, slipping past his bangs.

And then Ling's fingertips were just a hair's breadth away from Ed's cheek, and the prickling of his touch on Ed's skin triggers a rush of anxiety that finally snaps him out of his stupor.

He reaches up and grabs Ling's wrist with his automail hand with blinding speed and firmness, making the prince flinch, freezing in place, eyes widening with genuine shock.

Ed looks into those eyes, giving Ling the most piercing, venomous glare he can muster.

And it works - after a few moments, he sees Ling's throat moving as he gulps deeply, the fear obvious in his expression now. He backs off, leaning back to a seated position.

Ed doesn't let go of his wrist however, staring him down for a few more moments to get his point across - and revel a bit more in the precious moments of control he was having over Ling right now. Feeling Ling squirm under his gaze and strong grip was _entirely_ too satisfying.

But when he feels Ling has been cowed enough, he releases his wrist and relaxes his stare. Then he finally speaks.

"Don't try that again. Ever." And even Ed himself was a bit surprised at the clarity and conviction in his voice there. Good job, self.

Ling wasn't looking at him anymore, his head bowed into his chest. "O-okay," he says quietly.

They sit in silence for a few moments, with Ed still looking at Ling, and Ling just staring down into his lap. It's kind of... uncomfortable, again. Ed couldn't tell if he'd overdone the rebuttal or if Ling was genuinely ashamed of himself but then again, he didn't care. Besides, he'd started it, doing stupid things like saying his eyes and hair were "beautiful" and asking about his dating life. And then daring to offer him a kiss on top of it all! Idiot. He had it coming.

But that odd tension in the room was back and heavier than ever, and growing worse with each passing second, threatening to stifle him.  Ed tries to distract himself from it by polishing off another shot from his bottle of wine - the warmth from the drink is nice, but it can't overpower the heat still burning in his face and ears. He resists an urge to look at Ling again, instead gazing at the room window beyond him, noticing the dark blue night sky, dotted with twinkling stars. Going outside for a while feels like a good idea, suddenly.

"I'll be outshide," Ed mumbles as he rises to his feet. He was pretty woozy from the alcohol, but he manages to pull on his jacket and stumble over to the door well enough.

As he steps out of the room and closes the door behind him, he can't remember if Ling had said anything to acknowledge his leaving, but as he'd told himself before, he didn't care. Let him sit there and stew in his idiocy.

* * *

 

He thanks himself for the idea to get some fresh air as he steps out of the inn's front door, filling his lungs with the night's chill. It stings a bit, but the briskness of it was refreshing.

He walks - more like shuffles, not completely trusting his feet - along the inn's front side until he comes across a wood-and-iron bench on the side of the road, then slumps into it, letting his head fall back with a long sigh. God. He still couldn't believe that just happened.

His brain was still replaying the events of the past several minutes to him over and over. That goddamn idiot prince, making a fool out of him.

But- wait. As he reassesses everything that'd happened, a thought occurs to him. Actually, his plan had sort of worked, in the end.

Ling had tried to do something embarrassing, and Ed had put him in his place. It was at his own expense, but still. Yeah, he totally got him back for earlier today. He didn't get to punch him in the face, but cowing him into submission was good enough. Yeah. Good enough.

He settles on that, lets himself relax against the back of the bench, closing his eyes.

No longer distracted by the view of the night sky and his slightly blurred vision, a quiet thumping in his ears makes Ed realize that his heart was still beating awfully hard. Actually, all the anxiousness from earlier was still there, still balled up in his chest and stomach. Jeeze, had he been _that_ nervous back there? Or was it even nervousness? He can't figure out what he's feeling, or rather, what he _was_ feeling back there. It's like his head's full of static, and he can't tell if it's from the alcohol or something else.

But the cool night air he's breathing in is already starting to calm him down and help him focus again. Maybe he could try to _kind of_ comprehend what even happened back there.

Let's see. Ling bought that rice wine, then invited Ed to his room to drink with him to... talk about Ed's dating life and dare him into a kiss, apparently. He'd planned all that, hadn't he? Bastard. Trying to get him drunk enough to do stupid shit like that.

That 'boyfriend' part kept bothering him in particular. Why in the goddamn world would Ling just... _assume_ Ed might be into other guys? Because he definitely wasn't. Wasn't that obvious?

In fact, Ed was quite comfortable in saying he wasn't into that kind of thing _at all_ , and preferred...

...uh. Whatever he was... into.

Ed frowns to himself. Er... what _was_ he into? Huh... He's never actually sat down and thought about this before.

All this mushy stuff about dating and romance and - okay fine, sex too - wasn't really something he was normally concerned about. Hadn't been for years, really, with everything that'd happened in his life lately. Right now he just wanted to get his brother's body back, along with his missing limbs, and then- well... Then he'd worry about this. Later. That's what he's been telling himself - he didn't have the time or brainpower to waste on sappy shit right now.

...But now Ling had come along and... did this. Just shoved it all in his face like it was no big deal. And now Ed felt strangely... incompetent, 'cause he totally froze up back there. He had no fucking idea how to react to this sort of thing, even when it was right in front of him. I mean sure, he hasn't had _any_ kind of experience with it, but it still made him feel like an idiot. Goddammit, Ling...

...Okay, he's getting offtrack here. He needs to refocus. What was he thinking about? Oh yeah, what he likes.

Hmm... Truthfully, he doesn't know much about girls. I mean, he... _guessed_ he liked them? Sure? I mean, he was a guy, so it was natural, right?

But then again, the only girl he really knew and _kind of_ liked was Winry, but they were just friends. They'd known each other since they were little. Why would he be mushy with her? I mean sure, he cared about her and all, and... okay, she was _kind of_ pretty sometimes, but- ugh. That'd be _so_ awkward. Being with Winry like... _that_.

And Ed knew even _less_ about guys - at least in that... way. This was.. actually the first time he's ever considered this, really. He just... doesn't really _know_ anything about it. In all of his and Al's travels, men who dated other men, even gay people in general, were rarely talked about by folks, even in passing. What little he's heard talked them up as either something strange and worthy of ridicule, or harmless, just people like anyone else.

It was confusing, and none of it has helped him form any concrete opinions about it. And they'd yet to actually meet one in-person, to his knowledge.

...But then, they could be just... _any_ guy, right? You can't really assume this kind of thing just from looking at someone, you'd have to actually talk to them and-

Wait. Wait a _goddamn_ _second_.

Ed's eyes snap open. if Ling had been so interested in his dating life and even tried to kiss him, was he... one of _them_? Had he just- maybe, possibly, _just_ had the moves put on him by another guy? Who was interested?

He straightens up in his seat, covering his burning-again face with one hand. Oh... Oh, god. That's... That's exactly what happened, isn't it? Aw, _shit_... that's so embarrassing... and confusing.

Because on one hand, Ed wants to think 'I can't fucking believe this guy tried to flirt with me' but on the other hand, he _also_ wants to think 'I can't fucking believe this guy found me _attractive enough_ to flirt with me.' He even straight up called him beautiful! Like, holy shit. What... what do you even say about that? What do you _do_?

Like... was this how women felt when regular guys flirted with them? Kind of flattered, but also kind of creeped out and uncomfortable at the same time? Jeeze... he makes a mental note:

Never do that to a girl, or anyone, ever. Not worth it.

...Not that he ever _planned_ to flirt with anyone anyway, but- well, maybe when he was older? If he ever tried to settle down after everything was over- but he still can't really see himself ever _doing_ that...

Ugh... Ed lets his hand drag, his fingers pulling down the skin of his face. None of this is making sense to him, and its driving him nuts because he was a _scientist_ \- he was _smart_. A goddamn prodigy, even. He should be able to make sense out of _anything_ , even stupid shit like dating or kissing or whether he was into guys or girls or whatever.

But he can't. It's too confusing. It's too much. It's too soon. And he's too drunk and too tired to keep thinking about all this, because his head's starting to hurt like _hell_.

He lets out a long sigh, releasing his face from his hand and slumping forward on the bench.

It's pointless to keep dwelling on this. He's just giving himself a migraine at this point.

Better yet, he should just... forget it. Forget it all. He'd had a stupid, embarrassing night with Ling, but he'd gotten back at him, so that was enough. So he'll just drop it, and pretend this whole night never happened.

Yeah. He'll do that.

Ed sways to one side, laying down along the length of the seat of the bench. He rolls himself onto his back, giving him a full view of the starry night sky above. He relaxes his eyes and lets his mind drift far away from thoughts of wine and dating and Ling.

* * *

 

Ed didn't know how long he stayed out there, he might've even dozed off for a while. But either way, at some point Al came out of the inn to look for him, found him lying on that bench, and pleaded with him to come back to their room before the chill made him sick.

Then he chastised him for overdoing it on the alcohol as he watched how woozily Ed got to his feet and tried to walk. Ed just blew him off, saying he'd be fine by morning, but that didn't stop Al from pressing him to at least drink some water to clean out his system. Ugh. No wonder people always mistook _him_ for the older brother.

Now he's pestering him over whether he'd learned anything about Alkehestry from Ling, and Ed, faced with the reality that'd he completely fucking forgotten about that, can only grunt at him as he follows him back inside the inn.

"You...You didn't ask him anything, did you?" Al finally says, turning to him, and would've been staring at him incredulously if his face could do that.

Ed just shrugs at him.

Al was the one to groan loudly this time. "Ugh, _brother_! This might've been our only chance! He's probably going to ditch us once we reach Central and we'll never be able to ask him again!"

Ed doesn't respond, scratching his ear with a gloved hand. At this point he was so beyond caring about any of this it wasn't even funny. (Not even the Alkehestry stuff. More like Alke-hell-if-I-give-a-shit-anymore.)

"You don't even care, do you? Ugh, Ed, I swear! You can't just let an opportunity slip by just because you hate him. Alkehestry might hold the key to getting our bodies back without using-"

Ed, not feeling like being lectured again, walks past him and up the stairwell without a word.

Al pauses, no doubt staring at him. "...What's _with_ you, anyway? How much did you even drink?"

Ed turns to wave a hand half-heartedly at him, saying, "I'm going to _bed_ , that's what. G'night."

Then he keeps walking upstairs towards their room, ignoring Alphonse's hollow sighs.

-

When Ed reaches the top of the stairs and faces the upstairs hallway, he's hit with a sudden wave of anxiety when he realizes he'll have to walk by Ling's room to reach his own, but when he peeks into its half-open door, the drinks and cutlery had all been put away and Ling had, apparently, already retired to his bed.

He has the odd thought of checking on the prince, but he quashes the idea as soon as it comes to him, instead focusing on how tired he was and how his head was aching.

He gets to his room, undresses and flops into bed, hoping he won't have a hangover in the morning.

* * *

 

Ed did have a hangover the next morning, but thankfully it was pretty mild. Just a more intense headache than usual. He's almost thankful that Ling didn't goad him with anything heavier than rice wine, cuz if he's a... sigh, _lightweight_ , who knows what a few shots of hard liquor would do to him.

But that doesn't stop Alphonse from throwing silent, judging glances his way while he's seated next to him on the train, or Winry from pestering him with questions and concerns from the other side of their booth, like _What the hell were you thinking?_ and _You need to drink more water, like, all the time_. Because of course Alphonse fucking snitched on him and told her about last night as soon as she woke up.

Whatever. At least they didn't know what _actually_ happened...

Ed looks over at Ling, seated alone in the booth on the other side of the passenger car. He'd expected Ling to still be quiet and somber, or even angry with him for what he did, but true to form, Ling was back to his annoyingly light-hearted, smiling-y self, waving stupidly at them as he notices Ed looking his way.

Ling was doubtlessly eavesdropping on their conversations, but he doesn't say anything about their "encounter" last night, either. Ed was silently thankful for it - but at the same time, it kind of... bothers him.

The whole thing still bothers him, actually. More than he'll ever admit.

Ling's comments, his offer of the kiss, how close he'd been to fulfilling it - it's all _stuck_ somewhere in the back of Ed's mind, prickles there during lulls in the train ride, when Ed finds himself looking over at Ling and noticing things like the shape of Ling's profile silhouetted against the train window he was gazing out of, how his hair fell over his eyes, or his bare chest subtly moving with his breathing (why the hell is he always shirtless anyway?).

But he's quick to snap himself out of it each time. He has _way_ more important things to worry about right now.

Besides, it's probably just the alcohol getting to him. That's all.

 

END


End file.
